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The 10 Lies You Learn Growing Up With Domestic Violence And The Truths To Set

Jese Leos
· 4.6k Followers · Follow
Published in Invincible: The 10 Lies You Learn Growing Up With Domestic Violence And The Truths To Set You Free
5 min read ·
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Domestic violence is a pervasive issue that affects millions of people around the world but often remains hidden behind closed doors. Growing up in an environment where domestic violence is present can have long-lasting effects on a person's mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Unfortunately, children who witness domestic violence often learn harmful lies that perpetuate the cycle of abuse. In this article, we will explore ten common lies that are ingrained in the minds of those who grow up in such households and the truths that can help break free from their grasp.

1. Lie: It's My Fault

Children often blame themselves for the violence they witness at home. They wrongly believe that their actions or existence is the cause of the abuse. The truth is, domestic violence is never a child's fault. It is a result of the abuser's inability to control their behavior and emotions.

2. Lie: Love Equals Violence

Growing up with domestic violence distorts one's perception of love. Children may learn that love is synonymous with aggression, control, and fear. In reality, love should be nurturing, respectful, and peaceful.

Invincible: The 10 Lies You Learn Growing Up with Domestic Violence, and the Truths to Set You Free
by Brian F. Martin (Kindle Edition)

4.7 out of 5

Language : English
File size : 939 KB
Text-to-Speech : Enabled
Screen Reader : Supported
Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
Word Wise : Enabled
Print length : 288 pages

3. Lie: It's Normal

Living in a violent environment may lead children to believe that physical and emotional abuse is a normal part of every relationship. However, domestic violence should never be accepted as normal. Healthy relationships are built on trust, open communication, and respect.

4. Lie: Silence is the Key

Many children who grow up with domestic violence are taught to keep the abuse a secret. They are afraid to speak up due to fear of retaliation or worsening the situation. The truth is, breaking the silence is crucial for seeking help and breaking free from the cycle of abuse.

5. Lie: Only Weak People Get Abused

Abuse knows no boundaries and can happen to anyone, regardless of their strength or weakness. Believing that only weak individuals become victims perpetuates victim-blaming and prevents survivors from seeking help.

6. Lie: The Abuser Will Change

Children often hold onto the hope that the abusive parent or caregiver will change their ways, leading them to tolerate ongoing abuse. However, it's important to understand that change can only come from within the abuser, and it is not the responsibility of the victim to fix them.

7. Lie: Violence is an Expression of Passion

Witnessing violent outbursts within a household may give children the false notion that violence is an expression of passion or love. The truth is, love should never manifest in violence, and healthy expressions of emotions can be achieved without harmful actions.

8. Lie: I Can't Escape

Victims of domestic violence, especially children, may feel trapped and believe there is no way to escape their situation. However, various resources, such as hotlines, shelters, and support groups, exist to help victims break free from the cycle of abuse.

9. Lie: I'm Unworthy of Love

Abusive environments can damage a person's self-esteem, making them believe they are unworthy of love and affection. The truth is, every person deserves to be treated with respect, kindness, and love.

10. Lie: The Cycle Will Repeat

Children who witness domestic violence often fear that they will become abusers themselves or end up in abusive relationships. Breaking free from the cycle of abuse begins by acknowledging the lies learned and taking steps towards healing and healthy relationship patterns.

Growing up with domestic violence is an extremely challenging experience that can shape a person's beliefs and actions. Recognizing the lies learned during such upbringing is crucial for breaking free from their grip. By embracing the truths, seeking support, and prioritizing one's well-being, individuals can break the cycle of violence and create a healthier future.

Invincible: The 10 Lies You Learn Growing Up with Domestic Violence, and the Truths to Set You Free
by Brian F. Martin (Kindle Edition)

4.7 out of 5

Language : English
File size : 939 KB
Text-to-Speech : Enabled
Screen Reader : Supported
Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
Word Wise : Enabled
Print length : 288 pages

“When you grow up living with domestic violence, witnessing those you love tear each other down with physical and verbal blows, your brain doesn’t know how to deal with that.” --from the foreword by Tony Robbins

According to UNICEF, growing up with domestic violence is one of the most pervasive human rights violations in the world, affecting more than a billion people. Yet too few people are aware of the profound impact it can have.

Invincible seeks to change this lack of awareness and understanding with a compelling look at this important issue, informing and inspiring anyone who grew up living with domestic violence—and those who love them, work with them, teach them, and mentor them.

Through powerful first-person stories, including the author’s own experiences, as well as insightful commentary based on the most recent social science and psychology research, Invincible not only offers a deeper understanding of the concerns and challenges of those who grew up with domestic violence, but also provides proven strategies everyone can use to reclaim their lives and futures.

The author is donating all net royalties to the Childhood Domestic Violence Association.

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