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The Psychological Trauma Of The Privileged Child: Unveiling the Hidden Struggles

Jese Leos
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Published in Boarding School Syndrome: The Psychological Trauma Of The Privileged Child
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Imagine a world where material wealth, social status, and limitless opportunities seemingly guarantee a life of happiness and fulfillment. This seemingly ideal existence belongs to the privileged child, raised in opulence and luxury. However, beneath the façade of perfection lies a profound psychological struggle unique to these children. The hidden trauma endured by the privileged child carries immense implications for their mental well-being, relationships, and sense of self. Let us delve into the depths of their journey and uncover the lesser-known trials they face.

Understanding Privilege

Before we embark on an exploration of the psychological trauma faced by privileged children, it is essential to define privilege. Privilege encapsulates societal advantages and opportunities bestowed upon individuals based on their social status, wealth, and connections. Typically, privileged children grow up in affluent families, attend prestigious schools, and have access to the best resources money can buy.

While the notion of privilege may evoke envy and assumptions of bliss, privileged children face unique psychological challenges that can detrimentally impact their lives. Let us shed light on these lesser-known struggles and the long-lasting effects they can have.

Boarding School Syndrome: The psychological trauma of the 'privileged' child
by Joy Schaverien (1st Edition, Kindle Edition)

4.4 out of 5

Language : English
File size : 7767 KB
Text-to-Speech : Enabled
Screen Reader : Supported
Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
Word Wise : Enabled
Print length : 264 pages

The Burden of Expectations

Privileged children grow up burdened by sky-high expectations. Society assumes that being given everything materially equates to being effortlessly successful in every aspect of life. However, the immense pressure to excel can lead to high levels of anxiety, self-doubt, and fear of failure. Striving to meet these lofty expectations can come at the cost of their mental health, as they constantly question their own worth and struggle to find their true identity.

Moreover, privileged children often feel a sense of entitlement from an early age. Being accustomed to instant gratification can hinder their ability to navigate challenges and develop resilience. The inability to cope with setbacks can amplify feelings of insecurity and lead to a perpetual sense of inadequacy.

Isolation and Loneliness

Ironically, the seeming abundance of social connections that come with privilege can lead to a profound sense of isolation. Privileged children often find it challenging to form genuine friendships, hampered by skepticism regarding people's intentions. Their wealth and status can create barriers, preventing them from truly connecting with others on a deeper level. Living in a world where everyone knows their name, they begin to question the authenticity of their relationships, fearing that people only seek to exploit their privilege.

Moreover, privileged children may live in a state of constant surveillance, scrutinized by their families, peers, and society at large. The weight of this constant evaluation can result in an overwhelming sense of loneliness, as they struggle to find genuine connections amidst a sea of superficial relationships. The persistent fear of judgment further impedes their ability to develop healthy emotional bonds, leading to a cycle of loneliness and isolation.

The Pressure to Succeed

Success, defined by external factors, becomes the ultimate pursuit for privileged children. Be it academic achievements, professional accomplishments, or social recognition - their entire existence revolves around these markers. However, this relentless pursuit of success often robs them of the freedom to explore their true passions and live authentic lives. The pressure to conform to society's expectations can lead to a sense of profound emptiness and loss of personal identity.

Privileged children might feel trapped by the expectations placed upon them, fearing the consequences of deviating from societal norms. This stifling environment restricts their ability to take risks, experience personal growth, and discover their own unique path in life. As a result, they may find themselves chained to a life that offers material comforts but lacks true fulfillment.

Loss of Childhood

Childhood is a time of innocence, discovery, and unrestrained joy. However, for many privileged children, this precious phase becomes clouded with the burden of responsibility and unrealistic expectations. Their lives become defined by achievements and public displays of success, leaving little room for carefree exploration and genuine self-discovery.

Moreover, the absence of struggle and adversity can hinder the development of crucial life skills, such as problem-solving, resilience, and empathy. Shielded from the harsh realities of the world, privileged children are ill-equipped to face the inevitable challenges that life presents. This lack of preparation can lead to feelings of helplessness and a deep-rooted fear of failure.

While the psychological trauma endured by privileged children may seem overwhelming, it is crucial to remember that healing and growth are possible. Recognizing and acknowledging these struggles is the first step towards breaking free from the chains of privilege-induced trauma.

Encouraging open conversations around privilege, mental health, and societal expectations can provide a safe space for privileged children to share their feelings and experiences. This dialogue can help foster empathy, understanding, and support within their communities.

Furthermore, it is essential for parents and caregivers to prioritize emotional well-being over material wealth. Nurturing resilience, self-compassion, and a sense of purpose will equip privileged children with the tools they need to navigate life's challenges and find true fulfillment.

Lastly, breaking down the barriers that isolate privileged children from genuine connections is vital. By fostering authentic relationships and encouraging empathy towards others, privileged children can break free from the cycle of isolation and forge meaningful bonds based on mutual respect and shared experiences.

The psychological trauma faced by privileged children is a testament to the complex and often hidden struggles experienced by those living in privilege. While they may possess material wealth and endless opportunities, the weight of society's expectations, the burden of isolation, and the loss of true self can take a profound toll. Understanding and addressing these challenges is vital in creating a world that embraces the emotional well-being of all individuals, regardless of their privilege.

Boarding School Syndrome: The psychological trauma of the 'privileged' child
by Joy Schaverien (1st Edition, Kindle Edition)

4.4 out of 5

Language : English
File size : 7767 KB
Text-to-Speech : Enabled
Screen Reader : Supported
Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
Word Wise : Enabled
Print length : 264 pages

Boarding School Syndrome is an analysis of the trauma of the 'privileged' child sent to boarding school at a young age. Innovative and challenging, Joy Schaverien offers a psychological analysis of the long-established British and colonial preparatory and public boarding school tradition. Richly illustrated with pictures and the narratives of adult ex-boarders in psychotherapy, the book demonstrates how some forms of enduring distress in adult life may be traced back to the early losses of home and family. Developed from clinical research and informed by attachment and child development theories ‘Boarding School Syndrome’ is a new term that offers a theoretical framework on which the psychotherapeutic treatment of ex-boarders may build.

Divided into four parts, History: In the Name of Privilege; Exile and Healing; Broken Attachments: A Hidden Trauma, and The Boarding School Body, the book includes vivid case studies of ex-boarders in psychotherapy. Their accounts reveal details of the suffering endured: loss, bereavement and captivity are sometimes compounded by physical, sexual and psychological abuse. Here, Joy Schaverien shows how many boarders adopt unconscious coping strategies including dissociative amnesia resulting in a psychological split between the 'home self' and the 'boarding school self'. This pattern may continue into adult life, causing difficulties in intimate relationships, generalized depression and separation anxiety amongst other forms of psychological distress.


Boarding School Syndrome demonstrates how boarding school may damage those it is meant to be a reward and discusses the wider implications of this tradition. It will be essential reading for psychoanalysts, Jungian analysts, psychotherapists, art psychotherapists, counsellors and others interested in the psychological, cultural and international legacy of this tradition including ex-boarders and their partners. 

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