How to Keep Them Talking to You and How to Hear What They're Really Saying

Communication is a key aspect of any successful relationship, whether it's with your partner, family, friends, or colleagues. However, being an effective communicator is not just about talking, but also about actively listening and understanding what others are saying. In this article, we will explore practical tips on how to keep them talking to you and how to truly hear what they're really saying.

1. Create a Safe and Supportive Environment

One of the most important factors in encouraging others to open up and share their thoughts and feelings is to create a safe and supportive environment for them. Ensure that you are approachable, non-judgmental, and genuinely interested in what they have to say. Show empathy and actively listen to their concerns.

Staying Connected to Your Teenager, Revised Edition: How to Keep Them Talking to You and How to Hear What They're Really Saying

by Michael Riera (Kindle Edition)

4.5 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	3017 KB
Text-to-Speech	:	Enabled
Screen Reader	:	Supported
Enhanced typesetting	:	Enabled
Word Wise	:	Enabled
Print length	:	264 pages

FREE

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Instead of asking yes or no questions, try to ask open-ended questions that require more detailed and thoughtful responses. This allows the other person to express themselves freely and encourages a deeper conversation. Examples of open-ended questions include:

• "What are your thoughts on this?"
• "How do you feel about the situation?"
• "Can you elaborate on that?"
• "What do you think we should do?"

3. Pay Attention to Non-Verbal Cues

Communication is not just about words – non-verbal cues can often convey more than what is being said. Pay attention to body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These cues can indicate the speaker's true emotions or thoughts. For example, crossed arms might indicate defensiveness, while a relaxed posture can reflect comfort and openness.

4. Practice Active Listening

Active listening involves fully concentrating on the speaker, understanding their message, and providing feedback to demonstrate your engagement. Avoid interrupting or jumping to s. Instead, give the person your undivided attention, maintain eye contact, and nod or offer verbal cues to indicate that you're actively listening.

5. Empathize and Validate Their Feelings

When someone shares their thoughts or emotions with you, it is essential to show empathy and validate their feelings. Acknowledge their experiences and let them know that you understand and appreciate their perspective. Avoid dismissing or invalidating their emotions, as this can discourage open communication.

6. Avoid Jumping to Solutions

It's natural to want to help or provide solutions when someone shares their problems, but sometimes people just need to be heard and understood. Avoid immediately offering advice or trying to fix the situation. Instead, focus on creating a space where they feel comfortable expressing themselves, and offering support when it's appropriate.

7. Be Mindful of Your Reactions

Your reactions and responses can greatly influence the flow of communication. Try to be mindful of any negative reactions, such as getting defensive or judgmental. Instead, practice patience, tolerance, and understanding. Respond calmly and respectfully, even if you disagree with their viewpoint.

8. Reflect and Summarize

To ensure that you have understood the speaker correctly, reflect on what they have said and summarize it back to them. This shows that you genuinely listened and provides an opportunity for clarification if there were any misinterpretations. It also indicates that you value their input and opinions.

9. Practice Regular Communication

Effective communication is not a one-time event but an ongoing process. Make an effort to engage in regular communication with those around you. This can be through meaningful conversations, checking in on their well-being, or simply showing interest in their lives. Regular communication strengthens relationships and ensures continuous understanding.

10. Seek Professional Help When Necessary

If you find that your communication difficulties persist or significantly impact your relationships, it may be helpful to seek professional help. Communication is a complex skill, and therapy or counseling sessions can provide valuable guidance and strategies for improving your communication abilities.

In , effective communication involves not just talking, but actively listening and understanding others. By creating a safe and supportive environment, asking open-ended questions, paying attention to non-verbal cues, and practicing active listening, you can keep them talking to you and truly hear what they're saying. Remember to empathize, validate their feelings, avoid jumping to solutions, be mindful of your reactions, reflect and summarize, practice regular communication, and seek professional help if needed. These skills will help strengthen your relationships and ensure better communication in all aspects of your life.

Staying Connected to Your Teenager, Revised Edition: How to Keep Them Talking to You and How to Hear What They're Really Saying

by Michael Riera (Kindle Edition)

4.5 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	3017 KB
Text-to-Speech	:	Enabled
Screen Reader	:	Supported
Enhanced typesetting	:	Enabled
Word Wise	:	Enabled
Print length	:	264 pages

FREE

At last, a book of sage advice that will help frustrated parents reconnect with their teenager and keep that connection even in today's often-crazy world.The first step is simple: realizing that inside every teen resides two very different people-the regressed child and the emergent adult. The emergent adult is seen at school, on the playing field, in his first job, and in front of his friends' families. Unfortunately, his parents usually see only the regressed child-moody and defiant-and, if they're not on the lookout, they'll miss seeing the more agreeable, increasingly adult thinker in their midst.With ingenious strategies for coaxing the more attractive of the two teen personalities into the home, family psychologist Mike Riera gives new hope to beleaguered and harried parents. From moving from a "managing" to a "consulting" role in a teen's life, from working with a teen's uniquely exasperating sleep rhythms to having real conversations when only monosyllables have been previously possible, Staying Connected to Your Teenager demonstrates ways to bring out the best in a teen-and, consequently, in an entire family.